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Unconditional Love

Years ago, as my Mum lay dying, there was something she needed to say, before she surrendered herself to the next stage of her soul’s journey. It was not easy for her. Time and again she struggled for words, but each time she fell back, silent and exhausted – gathering herself for the next courageous effort.

As I sat with her, desperately eager to understand what she needed to say, I thought about what was most important to her in her life and so would also be most important to her at the time of her death. It was not hard to come up with the answer. My Mum lived within her family circle where she loved passionately and fullheartedly. Her desire for our wellbeing and happiness was infinite. She embodied unconditional love, so it was obvious that her last message to us would be of love. I am deeply grateful that we were able to find her words and express them for her. When she knew we understood her last loving message, she relaxed and was peaceful and soon afterwards ‘passed through the veil.’

It is comforting to me that my Mum unfolded into this state of being over many years – she wasn’t always that way. As we all stumble and fall, so did she, but she was always eager to learn and grow from the mistakes she made. During her lifetime she was called upon to experience in herself and to witness in her children over and over again, what must have seemed like unbearable pain and grief. But no matter what challenges came our way, self - inflicted or otherwise, she stood beside each one of her six children with courage, humour, compassion, patience and determination to support us in any way she could, and most of all – with love. My older daughter, a veritable gourmand, used to say that even vegemite sandwiches tasted wonderful at Nanna’s, because they were full of love.

So my Mum is a constant reminder to me of what it means to love unconditionally. Love to her was everything. She could also be fierce in response to behaviour she found disrespectful, but was always open to listening to other’s perspectives, and able to agree to disagree without rancour.

Her life also reminds me that it is never too late to grow – that we can keep growing into health and wholeness right until the very end. At 86, just before she died, she seemed transparent, but it never occurred to me that she was not healthy and ready for her next ‘adventure.’

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